There are times when a person needs to quickly eliminate negative thoughts that cause problems for them. Over many years of practicing as a psychologist, I have found a way to teach a person how to quickly stop those thoughts, and in may cases, stop them permanently.
I call this method, "The Rapid Elimination of Negative Core Beliefs." The concept is quite simple. We all harbor beliefs that are faulty, yet we accept them as the absolute truth.
As I conduct a routine intake, I carefully listen for underlying beliefs that are causing the suffering associated with the presenting problem. I end first the session by asking for goals of treatment: “If we were successful, how would things be different in your life? What do you want as an outcome?”
Unless the client insists there is more history to tell me on the second visit, I begin where we left off and pursue the top goal on their list. I have them talk about how the problem affects their life and write down how exactly how they describe it. I use a type of questioning that leads me to the core beliefs. A common question I repeat is, “....and if that happened, what would that mean to you?”
Core beliefs are always irrational and represent learned responses to identifiable events in a person's past. I ask the client to give me a reasonable hypothesis about where the belief originated. I might offer some suggestions based on the first session history. I’ll give them hints by saying, “There are typically only three ways you could have gotten these beliefs: a) you modeled yourself after one of your parents, b) you got this from some sort of family dynamic, c) something happened to you and, as a result, you made a decision to be this way”. We’ll spend 5-10 minutes on this. I don’t take a lot of time discussing this as usually I can get a person to change with only a basic understanding of the problem's origin. Besides, I find over-analysis can often slow the process down.
Once we agree on the core belief, I ask them to rate how strongly they believe that on a scale of 0-10, with 10 being the highest. I place the number to the left of the belief on my notes. Beliefs take a wide variety of forms and represent the unique life experience of the client. Examples are:
“There is only one right way to do things and I have to find it, otherwise I failed.”
“If I’m powerful, then I’m bitchy and nobody will like me.”
“If others reject me, I can’t stand it. I’ll completely be alone again.”
“Women are always trying to get the best of me.”
“He will leave you. You’ll be abandoned just like you were before.”
“You have to take care of others. If you don’t they won’t survive.”
“You left the only woman who loved you. If you suffer now, you deserve it!”
I then ask a series of Socratic questions. Socrates was the master of helping others learn how to think logically.
I have them critique the belief in several ways that lead them to truly understand the harm it causes and the futility and irrationality of holding on to it. I then teach an action imagery process in which they rapidly eliminate the belief. It is not uncommon to have a person resolve one specific issue in under 25 minutes once they follow my lead. The next session they typically eliminate the remainder of their list of faulty beliefs. This is a precise procedure that I worked out over many years.
For those who need to detach themselves from people or things that drain their energy, I use another, but similar approach, "The Rapid Detachment Method." Most people fail to distinguish between what they can influence, what they change, and what they cannot influence or change. Some people end up feeling miserable because they attach their peace of mind to outcomes they cannot influence or change. I help a person rapidly detach from such problems.
In my clinical experience, unless I help a person make a fundamental change in their belief system, change is superficial and temporary, if at all. Earlier in my career I often got stuck in the first phase of treatment - identifying the root problem. So often, my clients would ask, "OK, now I know how I got this way. So how do I fix it?"
I am quite skilled in this method, and can often help a person eliminate much of their emotional suffering in two to three sessions. It isn't for everybody as each person is different and goals are different. As an example, if you have suffered a head injury, this method would have limited value until you resolved the injury through all digital real time neurofeedback. If you have manic depression, results may take longer. If you have genetic unipolar depression, you should always begin treatment with all digital real time neurofeedback.
Case Example
A woman sought counseling for feelings of insecurity and guilt that had plagued her for 15 years. She knew that she was very critical of herself, but on deeper level she was caught in a very common trap between resentment and guilt. She was raised by a mother who was overly demanding of her time and she was rarely allowed to do what she wanted to do. She was not allowed to laugh too loud, be too spontaneous, or act silly like a child.
If she did not comply immediately to her mother’s wishes to help with chores or to “behave herself”, her mother would make her feel guilty. She felt trapped between wanting her own time versus feeling she had to do what her mother wanted. If she complied, she felt resentment. If she resisted, she felt guilt.
She took on the following reasonable belief
"I have a right to my own time. I must resist other’s demands or else I won’t have a life."
As a child, this woman had to find a way to resist her overly intrusive mother so she could complete important developmental tasks. As an adult she proceeded to create situations where she made free choices in life, then later resisted those choices, acting as if others were making excessive demands on her. She would then label herself as lazy, bad mother, selfish, etc.
I used the "Rapid Elimination of Negative Core Beliefs" method on her. In her case we spent three full sessions and most of a fourth before we identified this core belief. The actual treatment took 25 minutes. Everything else was preparation. At the end of the 4th session she realized how many of her problems in life stemmed from this one belief. Many of her issues about parenting, her work, and relations with family originated with this belief. This belief was not deeply buried in her unconscious. All it took was for me to listen carefully to what she was saying about her problems and help her understand and articulate the underlying core belief.
These thought/feelings were experienced on a routine basis by her, but this was the first time she had ever looked at them clearly and made sense of them. She realized how she was sabotaging herself and the problem was not that she had to fix the outside world, but rather eradicate an old, outdated, belief system. Once she did this, a long list of problems immediately disappeared. A four-week follow-up indicated the results had remained constant. |
